


BadBoyHalo Angst Oneshots (Requests Open)

by UnKorrektUnKnow



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Gen, I’ll add more as the oneshots become more, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27878209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnKorrektUnKnow/pseuds/UnKorrektUnKnow
Summary: I cannot find any badboyhalo angst sadly so I decided I should write some. Leave requests on first chapter!
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & Darryl Noveschosch, Dave | Technoblade & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 39
Kudos: 268





	1. Chapter 1

Leave any requests in the comments on this chapter and no where else please! (It’s so I can keep everything organized.)

Keep in mind that I will only take requests that include badboyhalo angst. If you do leave a request, put what you want in it so I can make sure I can write it how you like it. 

Do put a prompt in it, the more it goes into detail the better! I do not have any taboos but I do not like writing about underage people sexually, or even romantically. 

I am trying to work on my writing and if I do become better in angst I will definitely start writing smut too! (Big bottomboyhalo fan!)


	2. A trickle of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh ya, it took me 2 weeks? To get this out? Anyways self-Harm chapter!! Tw for it!! 
> 
> REQUESTED: @/x_methane_madness_x

The ticks of the clock was the only sound that filled the bathroom besides his shallow breaths, as he took the razor in his hand again. He stared at it while the blood dropped off of it onto his pants, leaving a small red stain on the fabric. 

Watching the blood dry on the shiny metal, gave him the feeling of being real, still alive, but nothing compared to actually cutting his skin open. It was an addiction, it truly was, he just couldn’t stop, no matter how hard he tried. Darryl leaned against the wall, the tiles against his back cold, his arm heavy on his side. 

He doesn’t remember why he started, if he was honest. The insecurities? The bullying? The lack of confidence? The self hate? Maybe a mix, he couldn’t pin point what it was exactly, but he has been cutting for years now. 

He looked down at his arm next to the small puddle of blood. The scars, old white ones against his already pale flesh, some looked deep, like he carved with a knife in his arm, while some other looked like cat scratches, his other arms was also as much as a chaos of lines as this one. His new cuts in a deep red, while blood still slowly flooded out of them, smearing his arm in a sticky mess. The blue greenish veins just screaming to be cut open, but he couldn’t yet. Not yet. 

He always tried to not cut deep, since he didn’t want to damage his nerves more than he already did, but somehow he always failed. At first, his cuts would be shy and soft, but the more he cut, the deeper he went, because he needed to feel the pleasure, and like he was in control. 

For him, cutting wasn’t only about the pain, but about the feeling of the blade dragging through his skin as his hands went weak, and the cold of the tiles under his legs as he almost collapsed from the pain, and about feeling the blood rush down his arm as he desperately tried to hold it in.

And because no matter how hard he tries to quits and him failing, he has to wear long sleeves constantly. He went short sleeved out sometimes 3 years ago, and the disturbed stares at his arms made him anxious. 

Yet, he still cuts. And a part of his brain tells him that no 25 years old man should be cutting his forearms open, and he agreed. He shouldn’t be, but he couldn’t help himself. It helped him in distress, anger, sadness or when a wave of depression went through him again. 

He was ashamed of it, somehow. It made him feel embarrassed to have a weakness like this, something that seems so stupid to him, when he knew it wasn’t, but he just couldn’t get himself to not be embarrassed about it. That’s why he kept it a secret.

His parents had a suspicion, they definitely did. They found old, bloody razors in the trash, blood on the floor, tissue soaked in red, and they knew about his massive collection of hoodies, but he knew his parents couldn’t get themselves to say anything. And he didn’t blame them, but he knew the day they found him bled out on his bathroom floor, will make them filled with guilt and he already felt sorry for them. He doesn’t want to hurt them.

He kept it a secret since he began, always made sure to not have blood on his clothes, or scars peaking out from under his sleeves, or to use his hands a lot in public, it’s a chore. Especially since being a YouTuber and A gamer on top of that, it was hard to not use his hands almost 24/7, he had to type and to click, while his hands were feeling weak, from damages neves and cut skin. 

His cuts was another reason for him not to do face cams, since he also wasn’t comfortable showing his face as much anymore. He couldn’t imagine the amount of concerned tweets he will get from his fans, and the amount of calls from his friends, if they see just a split of his arm. They would baby him more than they already do, and he can just imagine how they will be so ‘kind’ to him, to not be the one to be the reason for a cut. 

Darryl lifted his hand again to his already abused arm, and pushed the metal deep into his wrist, sliding it with one motion away from it, making the flesh open up and blood to start flowing out of it more, running down and dripping on the floor and just as he was going to repeat the whole process, he heard a faint noise from his other side. His phone.

He threw his head back against the wall, letting out a small sigh. Now? Really? Exactly when he was gonna cut again? He picked up his phone, answering the call without looking at the contact name. 

„Hello?”, he answered annoyed. Why can’t he have some peace for 5 minutes? 

„EHhhh, Hi Bad?”, oh, well he recognized that voice. Of course he would call when he was atleast willing to put up with him. 

„Ohh, Hi Skeppy? What’s up?”, and since he has to put up with him, let’s fake being bubbly and not almost bleeding out on the floor. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Skeppy. He really does, he is his best friend. He makes him happy, and feel less, well sad and dead, but sometimes Zak can be the biggest pain in the ass(Language).

„Are you gonna stream today? Because it seems like you are very late from your usual non existent schedule.”

„Yes, ehhh, I was supposed to stream today. Thanks for reminding me!”

Ah, yes streaming. The main reason most of his cuts come from, apparently stress, frustration and anxiety don’t mix up well. He was happy the spamming became less, but that didn’t mean it disappeared and it still hurt him, but he probably should make his way to his bedroom to stream. He didn’t want to disappoint his little muffins! 

He stood up, slowly, his head loopy and his legs wobbly, the blood loss wasn’t a fun side effect after all. He made his way to the sink, washing his arm under the flow of the water, watching it turn a bright red. It burned, he loved the way it still hurt. He dried his arm off, leaving the cuts exposed to the air, not bothering to bandage it. He never did, it felt better to have it still sting and hurt.

It felt like forever til he finally sat down on his chair, opening up his pc and went to twitch to start live streaming. The viewers started coming in bulks, the chat came to life, the amounts of hello’s and hi’s were almost overwhelming. He decided today he should just do a little bit of building and talking, nothing dramatic. He didn’t feel like doing anything that’s just so..in need of energy(which he didn’t have).

It went well, surprisingly, til Skeppy decided to donate 10 dollars. And then 100 dollars. And then another 100 dollars. And then he kept going and going. This wasn’t right..this can’t be the real Skeppy. He was so happy yet so panicked, why in the world would he spend so much money on itty bitty Darryl, boring and replaceable, possessive and bipolar, not cursing dumb Darryl? 

„BAD! Can we meet up with now?”

Meeting up with Skeppy! He wanted to meet up with Skeppy, he wanted to meet his best friend, he wanted to go to Disney Land with him, vlog with him, bake muffins with him, with Skeppy, with Zak. He really really wanted to see him with his own eyes and not through a computer screen, and touch his with his hand, and sing to him while he fell asleep. This is his dream.

„YES! We can meet up!”

„Promise?”

„Yes, I Promise!”

And then it hit him. He can’t meet up with Skeppy, he absolutely can not meet up with him. Ohh, this was a bad idea. This was a very, very bad idea. What if he notices? What if Skeppy...leaves him because of that? 

-  
December, the best month of the whole year. Watching Christmas movies, drinking coffee and hot chocolate to warm up, cuddling his dog all the time because poor baby Lucy gets so cold easily like her owner, and of course, the weather. The colder it gets, the more layers he can wear and the more he feels protected. 

It’s been exactly 3 weeks since he promised Zak to meet up with him, and til this day he just...avoided it for a lack of a better word. He was scared, he know he shouldn’t be, but Zak is the most important person in his life and he just can’t lose him. What if he doesn’t like him as much from person to person? What if he thinks he is annoying? What if he will get bored of him..? Or worse, what if he sees the cuts on his arms? 

He looked down on his arm, to see lines all over his flesh, taking no particular pattern. All of them hold pain in them, some were old, almost not noticeable, some were made today, still looking fresh, deep and painful. The urge to take his knife to cut his arm in two pieces, or to stab it right into his vein and just drag it right down the length of his wrist, was always there.

He hates being like this, this secretive. Hiding from the gaze of the public eye, showing no one this hobby of this, but somehow it was worth it. He knows people would be terrified, he knows what he does is dangerous, but he can’t stop and if they knew, they would make him stop. 

But he promised to meet Skeppy before the year ends, and he can’t let him down. So he took his phone into his hand and called the so familiar number, while anxiety washed over him. Deep down he knew this was the wrong decision yet he just wanted to make his friend happy. 

„Hello? Bad?”

Darryl took a deep breath and then said: 

„Does the 20th work for you?” 

-

It was fun, he had to admit. While on the drive here he was very much scared that Zak wouldn’t like him as much in person, but it turned out that he worried for nothing. He and Zak clickd instantly! 

As he came out of the car, he was quickly hugged by a bit taller man, who of course turned out to be Skeppy, who also was giggling while he pressed the smaller one closer to him. After the initial greeting, he stood right next to Darryl, only to let out a Yelp of happiness when he realized he was indeed taller than Bad.

The beginning of their meeting was very chaotic, trying to figure out what to do, what to eat, what to post. In the end they did decide to go on the first night to a amusement park.  
It was fun, running around, going on rides, eating sugary food, all that type of deal. By the end of their ‘date’, both were exhausted and went right to sleep. 

Darryl slept on the bed while Skeppy slept on the couch, after a long fight of the two insisting that the other should sleep in the bed. On the second day, they went to the park with the dogs, and then Christmas shopping. When the night came, they were cuddled up on the couch watching some obscure show. Skeppy seemed very interested in it, while Darryl fell asleep on the other ones shoulder. 

Zak looked down at his friend, smiling softly to himself as he saw the peaceful face of Bad, the eyelids flickering at the light, the soft small snores, the glasses crooked on his nose. As he pulled Bad closer to him, he saw a glimpse of something under the other ones sleeve. Curiosity killed him, so he took the other ones arm into his hand and pushed the sleeves up, revealing the hundreds upon hundreds of scars, overlapping each other, straight lines going all over the flesh of his arm, leaving no blank space. 

He was horrified, to say the least. What the fuck happened to Bads arm? This can’t be real..Bad wouldn’t do this, right? This isn’t how he is, he would hurt himself, Zak tried to tell himself. But infront of him was all the evidence that he needed that something was up. Well but maybe it was something else? 

He had to make sure before he jumps to conclusions, but he is also so so scared to lose Bad. What if he is suicidal? What if Bad leaves him? Why would do this? 

Skeppy didn’t get sleep that night, while holding Bad in a strong grip in his arms.

\-   
The next morning was awkward for Skeppy and Bad. One was worried sick and the other one was flustered that he woke up sleeping over his Friends chest and the silence Zak is giving him isn’t helping him either. 

„Hey, Bad?”

Darryl looked up to his friend, „Yes?”

„What’s up with the scars on your arms?”

His heart stopped. He saw them, he saw them, he saw them, he saw them, he knows he knows, he knows, he knows, is all what his head can think of right now. He felt tears swell up in his eyes, and anxiety washing over him once again in such a familiar sense. 

„Bad, I know this must be hard to talk about but we have to.”

He tried responding to him, but his throat feels like it’s closed up. He can’t bring himself to say a single word. His hands started shaking, and his breath trembling, and he just wants to disappear.

„I love you, you know that, right? I am not trying to hurt you, I am just worried for you…”

He felt the tears trickle down his cheeks, and the panic Skeppy felt as he rushed over him and hugged, to try and calm him down. 

„It’s ok, Darryl, we will figure this out..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending seems to rushed Ahhhh it is


End file.
